Refusing to Go Back
August was a month of tests. Old habits started creeping back—yes, YouTube, I'm looking at you—and I found myself wondering: when I'm back in familiar places, around familiar people, how do I protect this person I've worked so hard to become?
So, let's dive in, shall we?
While travelling, I came across a life wheel. It was comprised of the 12 areas of life: health, appearance, love, family, friends, career, money, self-growth, spirituality, recreation, environment, and community. The wheel was profound because it helped me to see life as a whole. It highlighted to me where I was overfocusing and areas that lacked my attention. What I found was that my focus was on NONE of the areas of my life. I was in survival mode, on the verge of giving up. A special shout-out to my circle because if it weren't for all of you, I would have given up.
While the wheel didn't make sense to me then, like it does now, it sparked an ember in my system just enough to begin to do the work. So, I stayed up late learning about the energetics of life, transitions, fear, and reintroduced myself to the art of getting to know people, rolling with the lessons as they came. I won't lie and say that I understood everything I was learning, but one thing I know about myself is that I get an introduction, followed by hands-on training, and then a test.
Each week, I could see sparks of change, and I was loving it. I was becoming more confident in who I am becoming without regret, which was not my usual.
August came quickly, as every month has this year, and I was thrust back into the reality of life, people, and their emotions. During this time, I had an interesting disagreement with a friend, a peaceful hug-filled run-in with a person I never wanted to see again, and dealt with many of my own emotions of feeling disconnected and off track. While I was used to people, I wasn't used to how I was reacting. Where I would usually retreat and discuss with friends and family at the sight of disagreement or agree with the majority, I started to stand on my own—moving to the beat of my own drum, trusting myself. As I moved through, I began to see that joy and love were afforded to me wherever I am, and it is perfectly fine to be me. This brings comfort every day. August prepared me for a focused September.
As I changed the date on my August vision board to September, I reflected on its themes. It is a month where leaves start to fall off, learning becomes the focus with children returning to school, and change is the overall theme of life. As I continue to drop the habits that no longer serve me and focus on life, I have a smile because I know it only gets better from here. This month, I am coming out of the shadows. No more hiding is the theme. That means showing up more online and in person. Speaking to someone who piques my interest because I am not experiencing the holidays alone this year, and continuing to live a life of love and joy. I keep telling everyone, life is meant to be lived, and I am living it full speed ahead.
So, what is fueling my drive? My personal development company, 11th Circle! We'll talk more about it as I iron out more kinks. This is what I have been doing most of my life. Helping others take action in their lives is a beautiful dream to me, and I am enjoying every bit of it.
Love, Charlene