3 Things a Week: My Answer to Being Stuck in the Gap Between Knowing and Doing

The record on repeat in my head is, “Nothing changes unless you take action.” I am no longer in a place of sadness about life. So much so that everything I have written over the month has been thrown into the drafts to be used as ideas to help me write even better pieces. I am DONE with my sad girl, trying to figure out life, post-divorce, and self-esteem woes. Needless to say, I whipped out the good ol’ Macbook and combed the web and ChatGPT for ideas on what to do. While researching, I found a series of questions that helped get me in order.

I realize that change starts when I lock in fully and move with intention and action. At 42, a lot of the actions that I take are muscle memory. Doing small new things still feels scary to me and I am one to give away all of my things and move to a new country. But somehow, trying a new restaurant on a solo date feels like moving a heavy mountain. Lately, I’ve been asking myself a lot of questions about moving my life forward as the optimistic, creative, love-filled, ready-for-new-adventures woman that I am. Here are a few questions that got me started on the journey:

• Who am I now that I’m not who I used to be?

• What do I actually want—not what’s expected of me?

• How do I reconnect with the parts of me I’ve put on hold?

Once the questions were answered, I went to my life wheel, looking to see which areas were a must focus and which felt good to explore. I knew that whatever I focused on needed to feel good because I refuse to go back to feeling clouded, jaded, and sad. I will be very honest with you. This part of the process has been the hardest because this is where distraction and fear always meet me at my front door. This is where I become great at telling myself what to do but terrible at taking action. However, one day, while talking to my cousin Mirella, she asked me, "HOW am I making a change?" What actions was I taking to walk out the change I am seeking? Her question stumped me. I didn’t have a list of how. Usually my rebuttal would be that I would feel things out as I go, but that response did not feel right, so I sat quietly as she regurgitated to me how I always talk about there being no change without action. My ego wanted her to be quiet while my heart was open and receiving her challenge. I hung up the phone feeling like I was missing a big piece on how I was going to execute this transition so I began researching the difference between what and how. “What” helps define the terrain of life. It clarifies the facts, desires, and truths of a situation. “How”questions come after knowing what’s happening. It helps design the path forward — the process, the practices, the way of being. This understanding helped me to ask better questions as I revisited my what during this season.

I am always coming up with ways to challenge myself to take action. That sometimes looks like starting an accountability group and other times I may just start a quick 40-day challenge. This is how I started my meditation habit. I am still proud of myself. I meditate daily and it is a habit and routine that I am faithful to. Based on her question, I came up with a 3 Things framework. The purpose of this method is to help me get unstuck by stepping beyond my familiar habits, activating new parts of myself, and rediscovering the joy of living with intention. Each “new thing” is a gentle act of rebellion against monotony — and an invitation back into wonder of this life. During this time I will try 3 actions or experiences a week from seven areas of discovery. These seven areas of discovery are: something outdoors, something indoors, something creative, something that warms my heart, something that expands my mind, something that wakes up my body, and something that helps humanity. At the end of each experience I will answer 7 questions regarding my experience to help me understand what the experience brought to me and if I would like to continue doing the action and make it a habit. Some of these questions are:

1. What did I feel — joy, resistance, curiosity, gratitude?
   → Emotions are teachers. Let them show you what’s opening and what still feels tender.

2. What did this experience or action reveal about what I value or crave more of?
   → Awareness turns experiences into insight — pay attention to what lights you up or brings peace.

3. Where did I notice flow, and where did I feel friction?
   → Flow points to alignment. Friction invites reflection — maybe a boundary, maybe a redirection.

Mirella's question changed everything for me. Not because I had the perfect answer, but because I finally stopped looking for one. The '3 Things' framework isn't magic—it's just structure for someone who knows what to do but struggles with the doing. And honestly? That's most of us. I don't know where this will take me by week 12 or week 52, but for the first time in a while, I'm actually excited to find out.

Question: What are YOUR three things going to be this week? Tell me in the comments—I want to cheer you on. Bonus points if one of them feels a little silly or scary."

Want to keep up with my 3 things a week? Follow me on Instagram @charlenecastellanos.

Love, Charlene